Breaking Ice & Making Nice

An Open Letter to My Starbucks Angel

Dear Angel,

I was having a rough day yesterday. My major year-end gift appeal was held up at every stage - from computer issues to printing issues to micro-editing boss issues, I was just plain exhausted. And, while I knew the end was in sight, I also knew there was a lengthy holiday line at the post office. So, I decided to grab an Espresso Truffle at my Starbucks drive-through to enjoy while I waited to buy stamps.

I was just about to turn into the drive-through line when you cut in front of me, turning in quickly from the opposite direction. I didn't particularly care, since technically you did have the right of way, but it did put me a few more minutes further from the finish line. Finally, it was your turn at the window.

That's when I started to get annoyed. It took you quite some time to pay, and it looked like you were hovering at the window, making merry conversation. "Hey, lady," I thought, "now is definitely not the time to be chatting up the barista. Get a move on!"

As I finally pulled up to the window, that barista handed over my Espresso Truffle with a big smile and said, "Happy Holidays from the lady in front of you! She felt horrible for cutting in front of you in line, so she bought your coffee. Enjoy!"

I quickly glanced around the parking lot to find you, and I laughed as I watched you drive past, window rolled down, yelling "I"m so sorry!" and waving apologetically.

Starbucks Angel, you made my day. Better still, you renewed my joy for this holiday season. I've felt burdened recently by the gift-giving part of Christmas. We're paring down this year, and I've worried about the reaction from family members when they give our kids three gifts each, and we only give their kids one gift each.

But yesterday, you reminded me that it's called gift-GIVING, not gift-RECEIVING, for good reason. I'm reminded of a quote I read recently from the Baghavad Gita, a sacred Hindu scripture:

"A gift is pure when it is given from the heart to the right person at the right time and at the right place, and when we expect nothing in return."

You lived this truth for me yesterday, and for that I thank you and offer my warmest wishes for a very merry Christmas.

Gratefully,

Christine

P.S. Readers, help me pay it forward this holiday season - next time you're at Starbucks, order one of their signature holiday drinks, and buy one for the customer behind you, too. Starbucks will donate 5 cents from every beverage sold to the Global Fund to help save lives in Africa. Learn more at www.starbucks.com.

 

Slightly Belated, or Unconscionably Tardy?

Oh, dear.

My last post was written October 14, 2008. It is now December 3, 2008.

That's 50 days ago, in case you were wondering. I was.

Oh, readers. I am so sorry. I don't know about you, but I vote for "unconscionably tardy." Please, oh please, won't you forgive me?

The past 50 days have been an Oprah-worthy range of emotion, alternating between glorious and infuriating, peaceful and stressful, joyous and sorrowful. You name it, we've felt it.

I cannot adequately reflect on every day between then and now (naptime isn't near long enough for that). But here are a few reflections I'm having right now, in this very moment, when I'm actually at the computer long enough to think about it.

Absence Really Does Make My Heart Grow Fonder

The CDR is gone on a three-day business trip, and I'm lovin' it! He was home for six weeks or so, just long enough to thoroughly enjoy his company and then find myself wondering, "When does he get underway again? Not until January?!? Oh, no. That won't do."

I am a total extrovert, I admit, but I do quite enjoy a few nights here and there of solitary peace. I put the boys to bed, clean a few dishes, then settle my entire body onto our tiny loveseat while I watch something girly on the TiVo and drink a glass of wine (or, as it happened last night, savor every last spoonful of my peppermint ice cream with homemade chocolate sauce).

Here's the thing: I love my husband, but I love him more (and I like him a lot more!) when I've had the chance to miss him.

I Actually Like (Some) Other Women

While I do have my high-maintenance moments, I confess that I find some women to be exceptionally catty and gossipy and judgy and ultimately, intolerable.

I also struggle with this one particular breed of stay-at-home-moms. God love and bless every single one of you, but seriously... Might you possibly, one distant day, even begin to consider that there exists a subject worthy of discussion that does not involve your children and their bodily functions?

Anyway. Here in Washington, I have found a savvy, grounded, thought-provoking, exceptionally delightful group of women in the mothers' group at my church. Some of them have become my closest friends here, and they helped carry me through the darkest moments of this year's deployments.

It Won't Really Be About Me Until 2012... or 2020... Or Never

When we were given this assignment in Seattle, I had to suspend a graduate school program I had just started in Vermont. It is a fantastic program, and that first year of school was one of the best experiences of my life. All of my classmates have gone on without me, and I may finish... someday.

I also love my work in arts administration; and, while I have been blessed to find a job here, it's essentially the same damn job I've had for seven years. Because I can't stay in a job longer than two years, I can't promote. And that is very frustrating.

If I'm honest with myself, I recognize that neither of my dreams will likely come to pass until the CDR officially retires from the Coast Guard. The original plan has that happening in 2012; but if the economy keeps tanking, then staying in a few more years may be a very wise decision.

But I still occasionally struggle with the personal surrender and sacrifice that comes with my husband's military career. Just the other day, our younger son Kel woke up with an all-body rash, and I was the one who had to miss work to take him to the doctor and stay home with him. My husband literally could not miss that day of work, even though I have missed day after day handling sick kids all by myself for seven months. And I started to get very bitter.

But, as it always seems with my emotional process, I came to a crossroads. And here's what I thought:

I can either be bitter and sour about my life's path, or I can find joy in the unexpected blessings that it brings, like:

...Two young sons who are already good friends...

...A husband who writes heart-melting love letters...

...A house that must be de-cluttered every 2-3 years before we move...

...An excuse to not fully paint and decorate said house because, "Hey, we're just gonna move in two years, and it's a rental, anyway!"...

...Good friends across the country and around the world...

...Sea Pay and Family Separation Allowance...

...A faith in God and myself that has walked through the dark valley and come out shining ever more brightly...

...And a blog.