Can We Go Home Now?

Several weeks ago, while the fam still lived in Connecticut, we attended a surprise 30th birthday party for one of my dearest friends. It was a beautiful celebration and I quite selfishly enjoyed the chance to gather with our mutual friends just days before the big move. But as we walked toward the parking lot after the festivities, I began to cry.

We got into the car and the CDR sat quietly for a moment to let me collect my thoughts. I finally figured out the source of my tears. “I turn 30 in six weeks,” I told him, “and you can’t throw me this party. There will be no one to invite.”

Now, I said that these would be slightly exaggerated adventures, and I have just proven myself right. If we threw me a shindig, I’m sure that my new neighbors would come, as well as our new friends K&E (see previous blog). But they don’t know me the way my Connecticut friends know me. They don’t have history with me – stories to tell, memories to share, jokes to repeat. They don’t even know my last name, much less the fact that I turn 30 in just five days.

I’m not trying to throw a pity party (seriously, no pun intended). In fact, I suggested to the CDR in a moment of optimism that he’ll just have to throw me a huge 31st-birthday celebration next year, when we might actually have an invitation list. He laughed and agreed, and I’m gonna hold him to it.

I turn 30 on Monday and, while we have figured out a lovely way to mark the occasion (we’re leaving the kids with our in-laws and reliving our first date in Portland, Oregon), the fact remains that I have been in Seattle for six weeks now and I still don’t really have any friends.

As we got into the car today after a 4th-of-July BBQ aboard the CDR’s new boat, I started to cry all over again. This time I knew why. “Can we go home now?” I asked. “Not to the house we rent. Can we go home now?”

I know the answer to that question, even though I sometimes hate it. This is my home now. Seattle is where we live because it’s where the Coast Guard has sent us, but Seattle is home because… well, because if it isn’t, then I’m homeless.

It appears that it is time to pull out the personality toolbelt and get to work building this new home. For me, the foundation is finding a good church and figuring out the quickest way to all bookstores, Starbucks, malls, and dog parks within a 10-mile radius (now you know my hobbies!).

Once that foundation is built, I’ll raise up a structure of playgroups, open gyms, yoga classes, and book club meetings.

And hopefully, by the time I turn 31 (in one year and five days, but who’s counting?), I will shingle my new home with a roof-size invitation list of friends.

Comments

[Erika]

You made me tear up on this one as I recalled a traumatic move we made to Oregon for grad school. I so wanted to go home! I swear I cried, off and on, for about three months with that move. Turns out, though, that Oregon was one of my favoritest places to live. And, I believe by the time we left, I could've had a roof-sized invitation list for a party. Chin up and get out there...with those boys and that pooch and your curls, people are bound to flock to you :)

[Mike]

So I'm checking the traffic to my blog, and I see a referral from a blog I didn't know about. Um, that would be yours! Welcome to the blogosphere. Yeah, I just said that. Crazy, isn't it? Thanks for the comments on mine, by the way. I'm going to add you to my list, too. This is cool.

Oh, and the french silk pie is where?

Kidding!

[Nell]

Although electronic hugs are not as good as real ones...I'll give it the old college try!
I remember the lovely card that you wrote for me when we left Connecticut (and felt exactly the same way about going- I cried like a little kid at my formal military going away!)- There's the family you are born with, and the family you choose to hold on to. We just never know when new additions are going to come along...your open mind and generous heart will be ready when those special people come into view. You know what to do, and you have the energy and strength to do it.
And, by the way- put us on that birthday invitation list now!

[SM92]

THANK YOU for including me in the blog email! I love your writing and am so excited to have a great way to keep up with you guys and your adventures. Your move story almost ripped my heart out. All of my moves had been on active duty - with friends I knew from somewhere (CGA, flight school, or *something*) and then I made my first move as a military spouse. No friends, no network, nothing. I thought it would be no big deal... Wrong. It's just hard. I described it as "emotional vertigo". And like you - my "beloved" (LOL) - left for 4 months 3 weeks after we arrived leaving me with a new 3 year old and an almost 2 year old - and no friends, church, or anything. In the middle of stinking nowhere! It stunk. MOPS helped, a great Bible study group helped, and great neighbors helped. Oh yeah - Amazon.com and the UPS guy helped, A LOT. I will be praying for you guys, reading your blog and hoping that things quickly smooth out for you!!

[nova]

I have to say, the home you left is not the easiest place to leave, we are not looking forward to leaving anytime soon. This post made me sniffly. I think your brithday plans sound fantastic and the blow out bash planned for next year sounds totally appropriate. You will be fine, give it time, there are some great people out your way; you just need to find each other.

[Anna]

Happy birthday!
Hope it is a memorable one--your first in Seattle, and your first as a mama of two.

[MarBear]

Happy belated birthday to a dear friend. Wish we could have been there to laugh, share stories and see our boys play together.

We miss you so much in our new home in WI but we know you will embrace the Pacific NW as you did SE CT. Home is where the CG sends us... isn't that always our motto? My retired CWO is home w/ me and not at sea but we are adjusting to our new place and surroundings. Not having our CG and church friends close ... well we miss it a lot too. Remember, these challenging times are the best times in our journey to make us stronger. :) Speaking from someone who celebrated a 30th birthday a few years ago (yea right), every year is a celebration whether you are surrounded with people or internet access, a mouse & a blog.

We send you hugs & kisses to you and your family from ours virtually. We will put a candle on a cupcake, light it & sing to you. Our little "D" will laugh and devour the whole thing on your behalf. Miss you lots.

[Anna]

Consider yourself tagged, lady!
http://hankandwillie.wordpress.com/2007/07/11/oh-you-crazy-eights/

[Molly]

I'm so out of the loop...I didn't know you had a blog!

[Chelle]

Happy belated birthday! Miss you...

I was thrilled to find your blog and find out what is going on with you. I'm sort of exploring this blog stuff and just left Mike's... My read on his blog was about his butt (10 Things I Like About Me), which really was the highlight of my evening.

Actually, the staff picnic (still miss you) was earlier tonight and Mike also provided "Fun On A Bun" during this meet 'n greet w/ people you've been trying to avoid all day. (I'm expecting "Fun On A Bun" as a topic in his next post, maybe? Is that how these things work?)

Loved the blog. Know that drill. It gets better. In fact, it will be great...